Sometimes I write when Im bored but most of the time I write because I have something to say.  I find myself to be very intraverted.  Even writing a public blog like I am today is out of my comfort zone.  Today Im confused.  Yeserday my girlfrend had a meltdown and its really hard for me to deal with.  A large part of me wants to leave her because I feel restricted from living my life, but I love and care about her too much.  She struggles with svere depression and anxiety along with a few other things thrown in the mix.  Honestly iI've tried to leave but her neer ends good.  Yesterday I tried and she became extremely suicidal.  She wantd to quit school and  had panic attacks all day. She took twice the amount of her perscribed anxeity meds and was still freaking out.  Her anxeity son later turned into severe detachment and hillucinations.  So here I am.   Watching her suffer.  Watching all her progress shes made over the past nine months fall.  I love her too much to watch this happen but dont love her enough to spend my life with her.  Evenually Ill have to leave and I dont know if I can handle watching it.  I know it sounds stupid but its life or death.  Do I stay or how do I go?